Angel & Demon

Is it Angel...or is it Demon?
When we ignore beggars beside our car window
Although deep in heart we feel guilty, for not sharing our good life
But we want them to fight for life, and not to beg for pity

Is it Angel...or is it Demon?
When we lie to our love one
About what we do, what we think, what we feel
Just to avoid confrontation, and to please the heart

Is it Angel...or is it Demon?
When we're angry with our friend and keep quiet
So angry that it can burn our face
But keep the smile on the face when we meet 'em

Is it Angel...or is it Demon?
When we tell the reality bites
We know it hurts
But we just want someone to know the truth

Nasionalisme tuh apa sih?

"...Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country."
(John F. Kennedy)

Seorang wartawan bertanya,
"Emang ada gunanya ya kalian bikin album nasional? Emangnya menurut kalian, dengan bikin album nasional kalian bisa ngebangkitin rasa nasionalisme orang Indonesia?"

Seorang businessman berkomentar,
"Sekarang lagi...C*****t bikin album nasional. Desperate banget engga sih keliatannya. Kalo cuma 1 lagu sih engga papa, ini semua lagu dalam album. Siapa yang mau beli album perjuangan?"

Seorang guru berkata,
"Muridku bilang kalo sebelum dia beli album perjuangan itu, dia engga tahu judul lagu2 perjuangan Indonesia. Sekarang dia kelas 1 SMP"

Seorang penyanyi menjawab,
"Tiap kali gue dengerin lagu-lagu perjuangan itu, gue merinding!"

Seorang anak muda mengaku,
"Gue nangis denger lagu Syukur. Ternyata selama ini lagu-lagu perjuangan Indonesia tuh bagus-bagus ya."

Saya bertanya,
"Nasionalisme tuh apa sih? Kalo saya menitikkan air mata krn mendengar sebuah lagu perjuangan, kemudian berdoa untuk negara ini, apakah saya boleh disebut nasionalis? Atau, saya harus berjuang dengan bambu runcing, baru saya bisa disebut nasionalis?"

The passion that moves every star to shine

Triggered by last night conversations among old friends, about the objective of my life. What do I wanna do, what do I want to become…and I just couldn’t answer it. That was not the first time I’ve been asked the same question…and I still couldn’t answer the easiest, also the hardest (at least for me…a person with thousands of small dreams), basic question which will lead me to the right path in every part of my life.

Woke up this morning and prepared for the Saturday morning ritual…watch Oprah Winfrey Show. While watching this episode, something moved me…the urge to spread it out and feel very stupid because I’ve known this for some period. Also, feeling helpless for not knowing which way I should take to make it happen.

Before talking about my objective in life, let’s talk about my idols. These people have given me an inspiration to lead my way of life.

My Mom
I adore this woman sooooo much, for all her patience and her dedication to her family. Even writing it had made me burst into tears. Her fullest dedication, her unbelievable patience, her enormous support is countless and timeless. She has a big part for making me and my sister a high-quality person, mentally and physically. She leads us to live our lives in a good way. We have a small happy family and live in harmony, because she’s there as family glue. For me, no one in this world could compare to her…she’s just my hero.

Oprah Winfrey
Her affection for the world, especially women and children, it does amuse me. Probably she doesn’t have a child of her own, but she has children from all over the world, who she loves and love her. She inspires other people thru others, teaches us to see life from a positive point of view, brings out facts of life from many people to show us so we can learn from other’s mistakes, contributes happiness in others’ life by making their dreams come true, and appreciates every little thing people can do for others. She’s also a true entertainer for me, which she can convey the joyful life and reality bites in a brilliant package. Oh I wish I can work for her some day, must be a lot of things to learn.

Mira Lesmana
When you see this woman, you can see immense energy burst out from her. Passionate, edgy, ambitious, know what she’s doing and wants to achieve, packed in sparkling eyes and exciting gestures. I had a chance to work with her, and I’m glad I did it. My friend told me, “Don’t work with your idol, because it can make you disappointed when you know that she/he is just a human.” But not with her, knowing her closely even gives me more things to admire.

I want to be like them…I have to be like them. I want to be a person who can inspire others, especially my family and women. My homework is to find out how can I make other people be inspired by me, which way am I gonna seize. Bottom line is…it’s the passion that moves every star to shine.

Coz you can only be what you are 
Coz you've got the heart of a star 
But the light never hits ya 
So be all you can
And just hold up your hands 
Someday you'll understand 
Why life never kissed you 
((You've Got) The Heart Of A Star - Oasis)

The Five Stars Gals

Tadi malam gue berkumpul bersama my five star gals. Kali ini agendanya adalah Bachelorette Party buat Daisy, one of my most beloved friends.

Acara ini udah 3x ganti jadwal. Penyebabnya, bisa dipahami, karena 2 diantara kami berlima baru aja punya bayi. Bahkan salah satunya belom lewat dari hitungan 1 bulan. Mulai dari breast pump rusak, bayinya panas sampe engga ada yang bisa jaga bayinya, udah bikin gue bolak-balik nelpon sebuah tempat karaoke buat ganti jadwal. Konsep bachelorette party kali ini juga udah disesuaikan...engga lagi mabok sampe pagi dan striptease, tapi sekedar nyanyi-nyanyi. Yang penting bisa ngerayain bareng, gue udah cukup bersyukur temen-temen gue udah mau mengusahakan sedemikian rupa.

Sambil nyanyi lagu-lagu kenangan jaman SMA, gue berpikir tentang kehidupan kami dan masing-masing dari kami berlima. Gue dan Sassa adalah orang-orang yang tertinggal, masih penuh dengan tanda tanya untuk masa depan hidup berkeluarga. Sementara Lia, Fifi dan Daisy akhirnya sudah bisa memutuskan untuk melukis kanvas baru, dengan perjuangan dan kisahnya masing-masing. Satu benang merah...mereka dapatkan semuanya tidak sekedar dengan menjentikkan jari. They had to struggle...with tears, uncertainty, and to their own heart. Sekarang gue bisa melihat kebahagiaan di wajah sahabat-sahabat gue, ketika mereka menceritakan tentang bayi mereka, ketika mereka menunjukkan foto bayi mereka, ketika mereka menggendong dan menyusui bayi mereka...even ketika harus pulang duluan karena bayinya memanggil.

Iri? Probably that's not the right word. Berharap mungkin lebih tepat. Mencoba untuk menganalisa semua kemungkinan, memberikan ruang untuk menilik setiap pilihan...dan mencoba untuk mengambil keputusan yang tepat. Karena gue yakin, kami ingin bahwa keputusan yang kami ambil bisa menjadi keputusan satu-satunya, yang pertama dan terakhir...selamanya.

Lagu-lagu mengalir, baik dari sound system maupun dari mulut kami. Satu lagu yang sempat membuatku tersenyum dan mencela diri sendiri...


Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows if it's night or day
But please don't put your life in the hands
Of a Rock n Roll band
Who'll throw it all away
(Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis, What's The Story Morning Glory 1995)

...masalahnya, udah setengah jalan nih Lil...dikit lagi nyampe ujung hehehe

Dear GOD...

Thank you...
For listening to my prayers
For paying attention to my wishes
For being so patience watching me whining
For giving answers to all my doubts
For trusting me to have love in my life

Forgive me...
For being ungrateful for your bless
For not saying thank you for the prosperity you have given me
For being unsatisfied with all the fortunes I've had
For not taking care of love you've lent me

Help me...
To be a more patience and low profile person
To be able to spread love to others
To be able to bestow happiness in other's life
To make the best choice of all choices I have

Amin...