Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Five Stars Gals

Tadi malam gue berkumpul bersama my five star gals. Kali ini agendanya adalah Bachelorette Party buat Daisy, one of my most beloved friends.

Acara ini udah 3x ganti jadwal. Penyebabnya, bisa dipahami, karena 2 diantara kami berlima baru aja punya bayi. Bahkan salah satunya belom lewat dari hitungan 1 bulan. Mulai dari breast pump rusak, bayinya panas sampe engga ada yang bisa jaga bayinya, udah bikin gue bolak-balik nelpon sebuah tempat karaoke buat ganti jadwal. Konsep bachelorette party kali ini juga udah disesuaikan...engga lagi mabok sampe pagi dan striptease, tapi sekedar nyanyi-nyanyi. Yang penting bisa ngerayain bareng, gue udah cukup bersyukur temen-temen gue udah mau mengusahakan sedemikian rupa.

Sambil nyanyi lagu-lagu kenangan jaman SMA, gue berpikir tentang kehidupan kami dan masing-masing dari kami berlima. Gue dan Sassa adalah orang-orang yang tertinggal, masih penuh dengan tanda tanya untuk masa depan hidup berkeluarga. Sementara Lia, Fifi dan Daisy akhirnya sudah bisa memutuskan untuk melukis kanvas baru, dengan perjuangan dan kisahnya masing-masing. Satu benang merah...mereka dapatkan semuanya tidak sekedar dengan menjentikkan jari. They had to struggle...with tears, uncertainty, and to their own heart. Sekarang gue bisa melihat kebahagiaan di wajah sahabat-sahabat gue, ketika mereka menceritakan tentang bayi mereka, ketika mereka menunjukkan foto bayi mereka, ketika mereka menggendong dan menyusui bayi mereka...even ketika harus pulang duluan karena bayinya memanggil.

Iri? Probably that's not the right word. Berharap mungkin lebih tepat. Mencoba untuk menganalisa semua kemungkinan, memberikan ruang untuk menilik setiap pilihan...dan mencoba untuk mengambil keputusan yang tepat. Karena gue yakin, kami ingin bahwa keputusan yang kami ambil bisa menjadi keputusan satu-satunya, yang pertama dan terakhir...selamanya.

Lagu-lagu mengalir, baik dari sound system maupun dari mulut kami. Satu lagu yang sempat membuatku tersenyum dan mencela diri sendiri...


Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows if it's night or day
But please don't put your life in the hands
Of a Rock n Roll band
Who'll throw it all away
(Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis, What's The Story Morning Glory 1995)

...masalahnya, udah setengah jalan nih Lil...dikit lagi nyampe ujung hehehe

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Dear GOD...

Thank you...
For listening to my prayers
For paying attention to my wishes
For being so patience watching me whining
For giving answers to all my doubts
For trusting me to have love in my life

Forgive me...
For being ungrateful for your bless
For not saying thank you for the prosperity you have given me
For being unsatisfied with all the fortunes I've had
For not taking care of love you've lent me

Help me...
To be a more patience and low profile person
To be able to spread love to others
To be able to bestow happiness in other's life
To make the best choice of all choices I have

Amin...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Try New Things

Different place different sight
Different friend different chat
Different gadgets different ways
Different party different style

So many difference in our life
But why we keep feeling boring and unsatisfied, un grateful for what we have?
Probably I have one of the answers for you
Because...we are human being!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Note from A Friend

The choices the choices the choices we make
Cannot undo the roads our lives take
thus we see the future at stake
but memories can never be fake

wander on the questions of life and peril, and yearning
stepping to and fro in the dark of the evening
is the light and hand to give us an inkling
of the colours ahead and what would we be living

try and fail or try and succeed, makes no difference
the important thing is the journey!

a note from ario tamat...in order to try fixing my blog hehehe

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

A Piece Of Morning Episode

It’s almost 5 A.M in the morning
Still couldn’t force my brain to get me back to sleep
Ppheewww…
It must be because of the diet pill
Should’ve drunk a can of milk before went to sleep last nite
Just to evaporate the effect of the pill

Yeah anywayyyyy…
Yesterday was a rough day

Being interviewed for 1.5 hours, being asked many “personality” questions, being valued, being judged…
Pieces of the morning episode keep floating in my head
The expression I couldn’t reckon what is the meaning beyond
The statement of circumstances which seemed like to discourage me
The judgment of past event which being said to point out that the blame is on me and only me
The point of value towards me which make me confuse why am I sitting in this room with a mustache guy

Driving all the way back to my old suckin’ job
Couldn’t help getting more confused and restless about making any decisions
End up in another just-wait-and-see-for-a-while decision, at least for today

By the end of working hour, the bosses came in and asked for our attention
Gave an announcement about pre-launch
Well, nothing’s new…they keep pushing us without making themselves available for the mayday situation
First task for me…try to push my passion back on the track

Almost midnite…another conversation about self, life and GOD
Just keep all the hope, could possibly open the heart and mind
Of some people…

Maybe this is what-so-called the journey to wisdom and maturity
Probably we have to walk on the rocky road, so we can be grateful for the sleek highway that we had
Guess we need these whole ups-and-downs, so we’re not over estimate in ourselves
Take time…take a distance…pull inside…evaluate self… tidy the mind…

It’s almost 7 A.M in the morning
Gotta go to run my life…

So after all is said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun, if you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams,
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world,
In a beautiful balloon
(Life - Des'ree, Supernatural 1998)